I'm pathetic

I recently found out I was a very sad excuse for a functioning member of society. I was dumped on my loser ass by Chris. I am extremely sad about it, I think about it every day and feel like such a loser. He even did it on the phone. He told me "Its nothing I did or didnt do but he just does not want to date anyone." I dont know if I believe that we have had some fights about Jordan and about me only being able to see him every two weeks in the summer time. Both of which I compromised and let him do whatever I want, I was even planning different things to do over the summer to keep my mind of seeing him. We are going to talk in the next week and I basically have this compelling urge to beg for another chance. I know I shouldn't and I know everyone will tell me not to. But I like him so much I feel like he is worth fighting for. I am just so sad I want to tell him I hate him and to never talk to me again, but I still want to be friends like he wants to be. It hurts even more that before he told me he didnt want to date anyone he told me he "still likes jordan, and compares him to everyone he dates" WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN? I mean really, why bring it up if its not influencing your decision. Please no lectures or pity messages I know its sad and I am being a dumbass but I cant help it. I want to be drunk or sleep forever right now, not in the suicidal way but in the take my mind of it way.....